West Coast is the Best Coast

Let's see if I can get this conveyed in 14 minutes and 55 seconds.

Our adventures left off in the town of Hokitika, where with little persuasion we forked out the 22 dollars to see the circus. Honestly people, we need to go to the circus more often. It's great family fun and if you're lucky you'll get to see the Globe of Death riders in full force. The town is known mostly for jade, but it's damn expensive... so don't get your hopes up. I managed to avoid spending large amounts of money--a new game I like to play with myself. We didn't want to stay in hostels so we started looking for camping spots on the side of the road. We asked a surly farmer selling fruit and he gave us hot tip on the beach. It was difficult deciding between there and the abandoned geriatric home... real tough choice.

We moved north a bit and set our sights on Greymouth to do some "city" stuff. Laundry took a lot of our patience. What took more of our patience was not beating the shit out of some 17 year old punk ass kids who threw water balloons at us. They got real scared when we got up after their car though and they failed to come back and finish the job. I fucking hate Greymouth.

We traveled further that day to Barrytown where the All Nations Hotel sucked us in with their home brew, sassy owner, and nearby locale to a knifemaker. Yes, we stayed 3 nights in a 1-bar town just to make some knives. But these knives are awesome. The kind of knife you would feel good about using to stab a cop, or even a lowly First Alarm patrolman. The third night got out of control thanks to Tomas, who then promptly bowed out of the bar when his 1st grade style of flirting caught him nothing but glares. Good try Tomas. I invented a shot. It's called Deano Does Dallas, in honor of the owner who decrees happy hour whenever he damn well pleases.

After Barrytown we made it all the way to Golden Bay where words cannot describe the scenery. The best way to put it is that it's the closest thing on earth to paradise. The family was amazingly nice and they happened to be hosting a friend of mine. Weird coincidence to run into Tristen in the middle of nowhere, but real nice to see him. We dug some holes, cleared some trees, ate vast amounts of food, and I learned how to bake bread. I need a helluva lot more practice though.

Time's about up. But we're headed back north to auckland soon, and I'll be gone from this terrific place in a couple weeks. Back to California... the other west coast as the best coast.